today has been a Very.Bad.Day. when I checked my bank account this morning, I discovered that there was a mistake on my paycheck...a pretty damn big mistake. a mistake that won't be rectified until my next paycheck.

so I had to do the jumbling act of figuring out what gets paid and what doesn't. thank god I have an understanding "landlord", because he's the one that is getting shorted. and I'm trying hard not to let myself feel embarassed because hey? there's not a damn thing I can do about it, nor did I do anything wrong. but having experienced first hand the shame of being jobless and poor and financially dependant on everyone else's good graces...methinks I've become a tad proud of my ability to take care of myself.

pride is a hard thing to swallow. I'm crabby and angry and have even less patience than normal (which is pretty sad). mother of all that's holy, I HATE asking for help. but if I just keep repeating to myself "it bothers me more than it bothers him..." maybe. just maybe? I'll start to believe it. and I won't feel so ashamed.