it absolutely amazes me that life is going on around me when I am in so much pain I literally don't know what to do. it feels like the world should be stopping for EVERYONE....every thing...since its stopped for me.

I guess I'm still in the denial phase. because I CANNOT face doing what I know I have to do. I still cannot even comprehend it. I still cannot accept the fact that 8 years just got tossed like it was nothing more important than garbage. I cannot accept the fact that the life I had planned and worked for is gone...the future I was excited to live is gone. I have to start over.

I need to wake up. I need to get out of this nightmare. I CANNOT STAND THIS. but its going to happen anyway, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

8 fucking years. and they add up to exactly nothing. I hurt.