over the years, Doug has given me many compliments that have me laughing my ass off instead of feeling the warm fuzzy I know he intended. a few jewels:
"I like that shirt. it makes you look like a pregnant hippy."
or...
"you're the best girlfriend I've had, so far."
and the latest jem?
"I like it when you wear your hair up like that...it's kinda like a reverse mullet."
the art of the reverse compliment? oh, yeah. he's got that one down. *giggle*
I think our addiction to Facebook might have officially reached a critical point...SOMEONE NEEDS TO STAGE AN INTERVENTION!! don't believe me? wahl, now. I have PROOF (besides the 6 months of non-posting HERE). I posted this status:
"I can measure my age in the amount of chin hairs I have to pluck, damnit."
and then proceeded to have the following conversation in the comments:
"babe, whaddya think about 52 inches?"
"...(pause)...I think it would cut me in half."
"...(the YOU ARE CRAZY look shot my way)...I meant a 52 inch TV!!..."
if you want a sensible answer from me, don't ask a question out of context...sheesh. we were discussing TVs like...5 minutes ago. *giggle* sarcasm? my life blood.
"so, honey. how was your day?"
"just fine. how was yours?"
"it was GREAT! today? today I had bomb training..."
this is the world we live in. an average girl, in an average job, having to learn how to spot and deal with mail bombs, just because some AssHat decides to target a collegue. can you please stop the world from turning? because today? today I want to get the hell off.
I shit you not...I had the following surreal conversation with a lady at work:
her: "so...Hillary is a democrat?"
me: "yup."
her: "and Osama is a republican?"
me: *blink, blink looooong pause* "wow...you don't watch the news much, do you?"
I mean...good mother of god. seriously? I encourage people to vote...but in this case? I would be much more comfortable if this lady did.not.vote. PLEASE.
how can you be a 40ish year old "independant" woman and be THAT CLUELESS? how does this happen?
*muttering under my breath at my computer* stupid bitch.
hey...I'm not a bitch!!
no, no. I was talking to my computer...besides, if I WAS going to call you a bitch, I'd do it behind your back.
*blink, blink. jaw drops*
yah know? I get that reaction alot. I don't think most people know how to take my sense of humor.
"ohhh...I HATE whales."
"really? why?"
"because they scare me."
"do you hate tigers?"
"no."
the rest of the conversation...